QTNA: Where In The World Is Senator Mitch McConnell?

We are now at day 44 of GOP Sen. Mitch McConnell doing everything in his power to prove to the world he’s still alive, besides recording his own video and letting people hear his own voice say, “Hey, guys, I’m still alive!” Instead, his office has offered the internet another proof-of-life photo that is really just a remix of the last proof-of-life photo he released with his wife, Elaine Chao, where both of them changed their clothes but forgot to change their facial expressions.

“I’m still working hard to get back to my full schedule of work in the Senate and in Kentucky, keeping up with intense physical therapy per my doctors’ orders,” someone who may or may not be McConnell said in a statement. “Unfortunately, that means I won’t be able to make it to Fancy Farm, Kentucky this Saturday.”

Sir, I promise nobody thought you were showing up to Fancy Farm, Kentucky, unless Fancy Farm is just a really cruel name someone gave to an upper-class cemetery. (OK, that was mean.)

Apparently, the Fancy Farm community throws an annual picnic, and Mitch “Totally-Not-Dead” McConnell wishes he could be there because it’s a conservative utopia that those pesky liberal Democrats no longer frequent.

“There’s no place I’d rather be on the first Saturday in August than with the good people of western Kentucky, feasting on pork and mutton,” McConnell’s statement continued. “When I first attended forty-two years ago, Fancy Farm was a pretty lonely place to be a Republican. But, my, how times have changed. Today, western Kentucky is a conservative Republican sea of red. So I hate that I’ll miss the fun this year, but I’m sending my best wishes to the St. Jerome community for a successful picnic.”

First of all, “pork and mutton?” What kind of MAGA rally-slash-renaissance fair is this? Are they also serving mead to drink from a chalice, and sending invitations out via messenger hawk? (I’ll admit that at this point, I don’t even know if all my historical references are from the same era. It’s fine, though; McConnell was probably alive for all of it.)

Bro, can you even eat solid foods?

But whatever, it’s nice to know that even when McConnell is one short escalator ride to the upper room, he still has the energy to work partisan political nonsense into his praise for the jovial event at Fancy Farm.

Anyway, social media pretty much responded to McConnell’s latest photo the same way it responded to the first one: with skepticism and AI videos to emphasize said skepticism.

This next one was just out of line.

Meanwhile, Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear has about had it with this Weekend at McConnell’s run-around, and he is, once again, challenging the good senator to either let people know when he’s coming back to work or just be honest about being on permanent eternity leave. (OK, no, that was mean.)

“It has now been 43 days since news of your hospitalization,” Gov. Andy Beshear said in the letter he sent to McConnell’s office on Monday, according to WHAS 11. “During that time, you have cast zero votes, engaged in no official activities, and aside from two photos and corresponding statements, have made no effort to communicate with your Kentucky constituents or the nation.”

As we previously reported, earlier this month, Beshear sat down for an interview with Katie Couric, where he claimed he had “gotten two calls from different agencies, not state agencies, suggesting he’d passed.”

“People deserve to know what was going on,” he said at the time. “Now, we’ve gotten a little bit — we’ve gotten one official statement and one picture — and hopefully what that means is he’s still with us, which is what we all want. But then there’s this question of when can he get back to doing his job.”

And now we have two photos that are different — you know — in the same way a Barbie doll is different once you take her out of her Malibu Barbie clothes and put her into Superstar Barbie clothes.

Yes, hopefully, McConnell is “still with us,” but he still isn’t in Congress, and that continues to be the issue at hand for Senate Republicans and his constituents in Kentucky.

I bet nobody even sent him a mutton plate.

SEE ALSO:

Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear Says He Heard From 2 Sources That Sen. Mitch McConnell Has ‘Passed’

The Internet Isn’t Buying The Mitch McConnell Proof Of Life Photo

Video Reportedly Shows Sen. Mitch McConnell Being Put In An Ambulance

Sen. Mitch McConnell Hospitalized After 911 ‘Cardiac Arrest’ Call

QTNA: Where In The World Is Senator Mitch McConnell? was originally published on newsone.com