Are Black Women Too Materialistic? [My Viewpoint]
Are Black Women Too Materialistic?
I came across this article, “Are Black Women Too Materialistic?,” and after reading it, I felt some kind of way. I’m still not sure what the author’s final point was, but he raised several issues that I felt needed to be addressed by an strong, educated black woman.
He says: “Like most men of my generation and the ones that follow it, as a Black man, I’m surrounded on all sides by Black women. I get it coming and going. And trust me, sometimes I am sympathetic to the brothers that say, “You know what? To hell with this!” get them a white woman of any available quality and head off to the hills, laughing like there’s no tomorrow.”
I say: The men of this generation (30+ and younger) “get it coming and going” because they don’t understand what it means to have a black woman. Many times I find black men treat black women less than our worth, but will treat a woman of another race like a queen. We deserve the same respect as all women because as Sojourner Truth said, “ain’t I a woman?” We deserve and want to be courted, loved and cherished just as you would other women. And yes, we deserve to have our men fulfill our materialistic needs. I mean, you expect us to stroke your ego. When this doesn’t happen you do “get it coming and going.” If you can’t take it then move on because what we will not do is continue accepting less than our worth and being disrespected.
He says: “But like Martin Luther King during the late ‘60s, I’ve decided to stick around for the long haul.”
I say: Don’t do us any favors.
He says: “And I know how deeply you ladies love. I don’t doubt for a minute that a Black woman could love a poor man enough to leave her rich husband for him. The way Black women love Black men has kept us all in one piece, if not in one place.”
I say: If you know this then you should understand our worth and invest in us.
He says: “Black women, your friends are horrible! And I hate them for you! They give you bad advice and you should know it by now! They want you to be as miserable as they are.”
I say: I will have to agree and admit that black women take too much advice from their friends … and they give too much bad advice. I was in the hair salon not long ago and a lady was telling her stylist about a friend who she believed gave her man too much power. In short, the friend submitted to the will of her mate and the lady didn’t believe she should have. I disagree.
Ladies, if you are in a relationship – a serious relationship – you need to understand your role. Submission is a part of the role of every woman in a relationship. Immature women don’t understand this principle. God created women to submit to their husbands and this is what we should do. I hear many women say they don’t want to submit to their mate because they lack quality leadership. That might mean you are with the wrong person. A woman’s role in any relationship is to support her man. If you can’t do that with a ease then you need to reconsider if this relationship is for you.
Additionally, keep your friends out of your relationship. True friends will respect your relationship. They will be there for you when you need them and they will understand they are there to support you, not run your relationship from the outside.
If I had to sum it all up, I’d tell men:
- Date in your tax bracket. You have to know what type of women you are dating. You can’t turn a Louis, Gucci, Ruth Chris woman into a Forever 21 & Mikey D’s kind of girl. You can tell by the things she does for herself where she fits into that spectrum. If you can’t provide at least what she is providing for herself, you might need to move on.
- Invest in your woman. Don’t be afraid to upgrade your mate. Why would you want to see someone stay in the same place forever. Life is about progression. Anything that isn’t growing or moving is positive direction is dead. Take time to get to know your mate and help them reach their goals. You are guaranteed to reach yours and be happy in the process. Remember, if momma ain’t happy, no one is happy.
- Give as good as you get. Black women love hard. We deserve to be loved the same way in return.
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