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Naming the self-sabotaging dependencies you’ve acquired over the years is a necessary step for those intent on achieving their biggest goals in life. You’ve got to know what, over time, you have learned to lean on so heavily that it has weakened your will and stalled your momentum. Otherwise you’ll go on thinking you’re progressing under your own steam, when in reality you’re only being carried along, wholly dependent on someone or something that’ll wear out–or leave you hanging–when the heat is on.

To identify your crutches, throw them down and yell “Hallelujah, I can walk again!” is by no means a simple task. We’ve dressed up our favorite crutches up so that they look like virtues, or even blessings. It may be supportive friend or lover, a trusted mentor, a fresh new credit card, a rich old aunt, endless excuses or your uncanny ability to make others feel guilty enough to do for you what you really could do for yourself. Whatever it is, it’s what you instinctively rely upon when you become frustrated or impatient en route to what you treasure most.

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