By Tanya Wilson
As I have prayed over the years about many things in my life, there were times that I wondered if God even heard my prayers? Often when I didn’t receive clear revelation or a favorable answer to what I had been praying for, I had to fight hard not to waiver.
I remember during a time that I was raising my children, while living and working in Columbia South Carolina, thinking everything was finally okay. Almost simultaneous to that thought, everything came crashing down. “What’s Up God am I not your daughter and by the way, are you keeping up with ALL that “I” am dealing with”?
I became an excellent actress at work, never letting on that I was dealing with a flooded house, my son’s surgeries, and my daughter’s inconsistencies; relying on the God of my secret place. Often I fell to my knees in a pool of my own tears asking God “why, why now?” “Wasn’t it enough Lord that my dreams have been shattered and those of my son to play football on a 4 year ride, to be wiped out suddenly?” “Isn’t it enough Lord that I am struggling as a single parent trying to keep all the balls in the air, without dropping them?” All the while, the Lord remained silent seemingly unmoved by my physical weariness
Desperately afraid, confused and not sure, I poured my guts out in Technicolor to a girlfriend; to which she asked “what have you done that is so bad that you are suffering?” For a moment, I fell back and said “Lord here is a woman that has no problems or at least none that I could see, not concerning herself about working as hard as I am to serve you (perception), asking me who has fought most my life to serve you, what have I done to deserve ALL of the pain and sorrow. I truly had to resist a head roll.
Recently, the Lord answered a prayer that I have had at His feet for over 13 years. He did it suddenly, and this time I found myself once again in a pool of my own tears; but this time, in celebration of His coming to see about me.
Deuteronomy 28:1-12, provides instruction on both how to wait on the Lord as well as, what the rewards are for doing so.
But when He shows up, we realize that it was never about our time, but in His time and it is right on time. And though it might sound cliché, He knows just when to bless you.
An unanswered prayer is not one that bears no fruit, or is designed to frustrate you or cause your faith to waiver, but it teaches you how to stand. Not only that, unanswered prayers protect you by watching for what is up ahead. And finally an unanswered prayer is training ground chocked full of learning how to hear in the midst of your suffering, even if it appears to be silence.
Now that I am holding in my hand His answered prayer requested many years ago, I realize that everything that I had to endure, cry through, suffer through, was all in preparation of where He has positioned me to walk. Without every one of those traumas, failures and skinned knees, I would not be a qualified candidate to assume the role He has designed just for me.