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By Tanya Wilson

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VIA Hello Beautiful

For many years I dreaded the holidays as a single divorced woman with grown children. I used Genesis 2:18, to justify why I was feeling the way I did. After all, in the scripture even God said it was not good to be alone without a helpmate.

The combination of scripture and pressure from friends, made me feel anxious about being single during the holidays. So, to often I found myself saying yes in situation when I should’ve followed my instincts and said no.

For example, a couple of years ago I agreed to meet a guy referred by a friend who thought he would be “perfect” for me!! He was a mature gentleman that she worked with, who often spoke of wanting to meet a nice woman. As it turned out, meeting was a non-event for both of us. By the time the night ended my cheeks were sore from an evening of awkward smiling with very little discussion.

The ill-fated date taught me to embrace my singleness. I realized that I had allowed others to make me question myself; making me feel like there was something wrong with being alone. Particularly around the holidays, being invited to dinners, receptions and other celebrations, RSVP’s as a party of one, was often met with comments I don’t believe were intended to hurt, but stung quite a bit.

Friends asked:

“Do you want me find someone for you girl?”

“I just can’t figure out why you have nobody year and year?”

“Or women are not comfortable with a women coming solo?”

My growth in this area has been one of my greatest gifts. In addition to embracing my singleness, accepting single as a whole number of one was monumental. Through my new lenses, the holidays are a wonderful time of celebration with my family and friends; that incidentally had been there all along. Heading into the holidays, I am now reminded of Philippians 4:11, which focuses on finding contentment in where you are.

Read more columns by Tanya Wilson, an inspirational speaker based in Charlotte. Find her on Facebook.

Other Tanya Wilson articles:

The audacity to stand and vote when President Obama isn’t popular.

Personal receipts reveal waste.

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