By DJuana “Dfitz” Fitzpatrick
I had this preconceived notion that God continually speaks to us and tells us what to do and where to go. No one ever told me how to deal when God is silent. What am I suppose to do when I stop hearing God speak and I am not given any instructions?
I’ve heard about situations when God stop talking, but I thought He stopped speaking if the person was doing something wrong. Everyday I woke up seeking God and waiting to hear from Him and waiting for the next instruction. The beginning of this year I was hearing so much from Him and I knew what he wanted me to do. I did it. At the beginning of this summer, however, the speaking stopped. I would wake up seeking God and waiting to hear something and I got nothing. There I was sitting praying and seeking God and I got nothing.
I began to reflect over my life and tried to see if I was doing something wrong. Was I saying the wrong thing? Did I not follow out assignments correctly? I was pretty sure I was doing things right, but it was an overwhelming feeling of insignificance on my part.
Slowly I started doing my own thing…again. I stopped seeking God (He wasn’t speaking to me anyway) and I started doing what I wanted to do. I still prayed, but I did a lot of the talking and stopped listening. I read and studied my Bible as a routine. Yet, I abandoned everything God had originally set up. I got away with that for a good two months. At the end of the second month, nothing was going right. God was still taking care of me, but he was not blessing anything I started myself.
I set on my bed one morning in silence and demanded to hear from God. I spoke aloud, “God speak to my heart! I need to hear from you! I need to know what to do!”
I left that quiet time angry and upset.
“Fine, you don’t want to talk to me, I won’t speak to you,” I said.
I went downstairs of my home and turned on the television and begin watching a movie. In one of the scenes in the movie a father and daughter was driving down the road. The father was instructing the daughter which way to go. Then they came to an open highway and the father didn’t give anymore instructions. The daughter became restless and started asking her dad, “where do I go?” He remained asleep and mumbled to her “just keep going.” She started to get more restless. After a while she decided that she would exit the highway and find a place to get a map. She got the map and was trying to read it. She started driving again and began to go the wrong way. Her dad woke up and saw that she was going the wrong way and saw her trying to read the map. The father snatched the map and looked at it and told her the map was outdated and they were going the wrong way.
He told her “I know the way why can’t you just trust me?”
She replied, “You went to sleep and didn’t tell me anything else!”
“Well there was nothing else to tell you. Just stay on the highway and keep going!” he replied.
This movie was God’s way of letting me see that that this particular situation is a lot like what I was going through. God was giving me directions and when the directions stopped I assumed he didn’t care anymore.
God’s silence does not mean that he doesn’t care or that he has left you. His silence has different meanings in different situations. For some, like myself, it means that we are to keep doing what we have been doing until God tells us differently. There are those that have prayed for something and you hear no answer, well, perhaps that’s God letting you know you will not be getting that. Or you will not be getting that right now. Regardless, God’s silence is a time for you to exercise faith and to prove you trust God at all times.
I have learned my lesson. I learned to have peace in God’s silence and I know I cannot become anxious and start making my own decisions.
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